snowflake dreams.

Well. It's another frost bitten night. I have nothing else to do but write a blog post. So it turns out that the "wishes" I referred to in my older post were all superficial..and definitely NOT worth it. I'm just glad my alarm went off before what once was a beautiful dream transformed into a horrible nightmare. I was blind, and stupid, and just plain dumb to think that one wish would make everything alright. I have snapped out of it though. He lost respect for me, and so I lost respect for him too, because I finally gathered up all my strength and self-respect and realized that I can do SO MUCH BETTER. and I did. I have fallen hopelessly in love, for real this time. With the most amazing boy I could ever ask for. He is a Muslim, he's Paki, and he's super cute. Plus he respects me, and respects himself. I love that his personality is so..raw, and so real. No one knows me as well as him.. and he understands me. He is always there for me, and everytime I'm in a horrible mood I feel so much better after talking to him. First love is always painful yes, but now when I look back at old memories I just gag..because honestly. What the hell was I thinking? I guess college has taught me A LOT of things. I feel a lot more mature than I did two years ago.. because now not only am I thinking long term about a lot of things, I have also come to realize a lot of things about myself. Oh well. It's a New Year, and a New Me. I have gone back to being a permanent hijabi.. well, I did cover whenever I went back to Saudi or Pakistan.. but now I have started it in Canada as well. It took A LOT of courage to be honest, because earlier I used to be worried about how I looked with it etc. But I think it enhances my appearance believe it or not. I am proud of myself for making that decision for me.

Right now I'm just a bit overwhelmed with everything. I'm going to change universities, majors, even countries next year. I am a bit excited too, because I finally know where I am going with my life. At first it was just my counselor's decision to do Business, but when I actually enrolled in Business courses, I realized its really not for me. Maybe I'll become a doctor InshAllah.. depending on whether I pass the entrance test or not.

I think I need to update my blog more often, this is a lot of fun :D

Till nextttt

-T